Diary of a Designer #11

'Tis the Season 🎄

Dear Diary,

It has begun!

Today I walked out of my bedroom to find my 3 youngest girls sitting in eerie silence with a MOUNTAIN of Christmas cards piled in front of them, madly scribbling messages to friends.

Its worth noting that I'm using the term 'friends' VERY loosely here. judging by the 280 or so cards piled on the table (some of which had already fallen on the floor) every person alive, that they actually know the name of, will be the recipient of one of these Christmas cards.

The girls looked up from their epic task as I entered the room wide eyed at the scene before me and all at once started begging me to buy candy canes to put in with their cards. Darling Daughter number 2 stands up and declares

'we just need..... wait.... let me count! one, two, three....'

Coffee. 

All I could think of was that I just needed some coffee to make it through!!

As I listened, from the kitchen, to the counting continue, interrupted only by the occasional instruction to move this or that and then everyone groaning as they had to start again because they had lost count, I realised this marked the beginning of the next 6 weeks of my life.

 The silly season had arrived.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it! Our whole house will now descend down into an unending spiral of parties, end of year events, award ceremonies, get togethers, family reunions, gift hunting, gift wrapping, gift giving and gift begging.  

There's nothing for it... I just have to take a deep breath, put on my big girl pants and go and face it!

Filled with courage only a double shot skinny cappuccino can deliver, I headed back to Christmas Card Hell Central where I was informed they just needed me to buy 113 candy canes to finish their monumentally important task. 

I looked at the adorable creatures and told them they could have 10 each to give away, that if I caught them eating any I would cancel Christmas ( yes I'm looking at you Daisy) and that if I heard one complaint about it all I would also cancel Easter. 

They got ready for school and left in a cloud of dark brooding silence. Again I was struck by the sheer irony that children still use silence to punish adults!!?! Bring it on I say.

I happily trotted off to my workshop, I had been planning on doing a layout today but now I couldn't shake the feeling that I should really should be making some Christmas cards myself! 

And here's where my deep dark secret emerges... I loath making Christmas cards :( 

So much effort for cards that get admired for maybe 30 days then tossed out ... it's enough to make a grown craft lady cry. 

It might feel more worth it if you could give them out in about August!?

 And its the same theme over and over and over, year after year!!

I turned over the Christmas papers, chipboards and embellishments for an hour then swept them all aside and ran straight back into the arms of my first love .... a good old fashioned layout. 

I'll try cards again tomorrow, but today....

I got busy with this beautifully Australian Open Road collection from Kaisercraft.

I used a black sharpie pen on these chipboard words then a medium nib white gel pen to add the shine lines to each letter.

Dear Diary,

We had to eat dinner outside on the balcony last night as the great Christmas card ordeal of 2017 continues on the dining room table. Now darling daughter #1 has joined them and Darling Son #2!

 I've never been so pleased DS#1 doesn't ever leave his room and has only online friends, I assume he will send his online mates an online card? Actually thinking about it,  I dont know that he and his gaming mates will even know its Christmas? Probs not. 

I often wonder what my virtual reality, aname grandbabies will look like?

I attempted to sit down and make Christmas cards again today, but no ideas came to me at all, after a while I just gave up and decided to look up ideas on Pinterest.

Talk about going down the rabbit hole ... I was looking for 3 hours... 

and this was the only one I found that really tickled my fancy!!

Lets face it ... I'm just not a christmas card person.

So I did this layout instead...

Again using the Open Road Collection from Kaisercraft.

Dear Diary,

The disease is spreading ... today there are Christmas cards all over the dining table, the coffee table, the kitchen bench, and the end of the lounge .... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 

Apparently everyone is trying to 'sort' out their friend groups, or drive me crazy by covering every flat surface in the house!?! honestly I'm not sure which one is actually in play at this point?? 

I can promise you I'm getting over it all though. 

One more day and then I set fire to everything! 🔥

I didnt even attempt Christmas Card making today, I went straight into the comforting embrace of a layout. I have accepted that my Christmas cards this year ( just as they were last year) will be made from whatever is left over on the dining room table after the children finally pick all theirs up!

I did manage to calm down while scrapping though. Today I realised that scrapping is like therapy for me. I become calmer and more focused when I'm enjoying myself crafting, I'm able to let go of my anger and all my pyromaniac tendencies... which, lets face it, is only ever a good thing!

Todays Layout was made using the Wandering Ivy collection from Kaisercraft.

Dear Diary,

I'm happy to report that the Christmas cards are for the most part gone - YAY!

The kids sorted them all into bags last night ( Friends from school bag, friends from kids club bag, friends from the neighbourhood bag, friends from church bag etc) and off they went with them all this morning for delivery. There were just a few left on the dining table after that.

 I decided I would finish up early in the workshop today and write some out myself to send out, since there was a snow balls chance in hell that I was ever going to actually make one!

Today I returned to creating with the new Wandering Ivy papers from Kaisercraft.

After that fabulous crafty adventure, I was just the mood for writing messages to friends so I sat down at the dining table and got to it. But as I worked, I realised more people belonged on the Christmas card list, that I carried around in my head, than I first thought. I mean I cant give a card to that couple and NOT give one to those guys, that would look strange!?

I abandoned writing the cards in favour of writing a list of people I need to send cards to. 

And the list grew and grew.

I was madly scribbling names when my husband walked past and said something to me.

I looked up and asked what he had said?

'I'm going to town, do you need anything?'

From the corner of my eyes I glanced at the remaining cards on the table.

'can you please pick me up 53 Christmas cards and 64 candy canes?'

He turned fully to me then with an ironic look of incredulousness on his face and said flatly.

'I'll buy you 10!'

Then he promptly turned and started to walk away adding just as he exited the room

'and I better not catch you eating them!'

Excerpts From The Diary of a Designer #10

Excerpts From The Diary of a Designer #10

HSC Horror Stories…

Dear Diary...

I’m currently hiding in my wardrobe typing this.

Hiding may not seem like the bravest strategy but I promise you it’s the smartest one!

Darling Daughter #1 has just started her HSC exams and I swear to you I have never seen a more irrational, emotional and unstable teenage girl in my life. Are they all like this??

Earlier this morning she explained in depth her extreme frustration at the unjust HSC system that requires english students to memorise a ‘ridiculous’ number of quotes. Half an hour later she was in tears sure she would fail no matter what she did. Then she came home after the exam exclaiming that it wasn’t that bad!!?!

Her mood swings are giving me whiplash.

Now she's out in the lounge room stressing over the next exam tomorrow, so I’m staying safely tucked away in this comfy cupboard!

I did manage to get a few hours of peace in the middle of all that today though. I actually finished a whole scrapbook layout… My absolute favourite thing about Imaginarium designs chipboards is that they do the most beautiful and endearing titles, and this is of my favourites 💚

Well the battery on my laptop is almost done so I’m going to have to sign off for tonight. I can still hear DD#1 out there ranting at anyone in earshot so I might just enjoy the peace and quiet a moment longer here.

Dear Diary...

I noticed a distinct lack of people moving through the house this morning, when I did eventually locate several of the children I found out they too are doing their best to avoid their sister and her crazy moods DD#2,3 &4 all said they would rather not eat breakfast at all than have to listen to DD#1 rant even further about the distinct lack of polylogism in today's schooling environment.

I couldn't agree more. I stayed in the bedroom with DD#2 & 3 and we googled what Polylogism is and played some Plants versus Zombies before they snuck off to school and I snuck out to my workshop.

Everyone deals with stress in different ways …

my way is to tuck myself away with some fabulous papercraft supplies and see what is born 🙂

Today’s adventures yielded another scrapbook layout … this time a double! I rarely do doubles, but I was so inspired by these Heartfelt Creations papers that I just couldnt resist this time.

  

       

Dear Diary,

I can’t take this any more, there was no exam today but there was a torrent of tears as DD#1 asked me if would still love her if she failed to get into law school and ended up working at McDonalds for the rest of her life?

I have no idea where kids find the pressures they put on themselves … I’ve never asked her to be a human rights lawyer …. that was all her idea … I think the job she had at maccas for the last 3 years is awesome …. But somehow it's the worse-case-life-scenario for her now??

I don't think her teachers put that much pressure on her either, all I’ve ever heard them say is ‘just try your best’ … so what's this question about me not loving her anymore if she doesn't get a HSC mark of 99 or above???

I find empathy in light of my daughters first world problems difficult to muster …. I just think ‘you are a crazy person who cannot be reasoned with, please don’t speak to me anymore’

...but you know ….

Instead I hugged her and said ‘oh baby ….sadly If you don’t get into law school you will actually have to change your last name as your father and I will have no choice but to disown you!’

She rolled her eyes and stormed off to her room….I feel like I effectively made my point.

Shes punished me all day with the silent treatment ….. BEST DAY EVER!!

I got all these cards made thanks to said punishment.

It’s difficult for me to regret my sarcastic streak when it yields such pleasing results.

Just saying.

All the chipboards on these cards were simply coloured with ink and then painted over with crystalina kindy glitz.

Dear diary,

Disaster has struck …. While vacuuming in a very bad ( yet extremely persistent)  mood, DD#1 smashed her wrist and injured her writing hand. This resulted in unparalleled drama, the likes of which has never been seen in this house and I hope shall never be seen again! The tears were epic, the panic tantrum second to none, and my ability to help stave off the torrent non existent.

She went off to her Ancient History exam in considerable pain and did the whole 3 hours of writing with a bag of ice on her wrist. She didn't quite finish which is apparently ( if you are to believe anything DD#1 says these days) a fate WORSE than death!!

So half my day and the whole afternoon was spent chasing our family doctor for a medical ‘misadventure’ certificate. Thank heavens we only have one more exam to go!!

Dear Diary

The weekend saw DD#1 wrist heal quite nicely and this morning she headed off to her final exam like snow white going to greet the forest animals for brunch.

She was so happy we were all a little wary.

Apparently maths is her favorite subject so it attracted none of the usual angst we saw so much of last week. We were all relieved, but Son#2 did point out that she's just acting creepy now. I told him not to worry, if she didn't get into law school via the usual methods her father and I had decided to bribe the one furthest away from home to ensure we are never living with her again when she has to sit an exam. He greatly approve of this plan and offered a substantial amount of his savings to contribute towards it.

DD#4 actually turns 8 today and she loves all things ‘Paris’ themed so I used the Imaginarium Eiffel tower to create this cute card for her. She sternly reminded me this morning that she’s 'not a baby anymore' so I should stop making her all those pink glittery cards ( my favourites of course) so it was with some nostalgia I did my best to keep the little girl themes on the inside while I make this slightly more ‘grown up’ version…

This is the last of my 6 babies … turning 8 today!! When you think about it, only it’s 10 more years and she will be sitting the HSC too …. heaven help me…. may the years pass slowly.

Diary of a Designer Vol # 9

Elnino SUCKS!

Monday the 4th September 2017

Dear Diary...

what's the go with this heat? and where has all the water gone?

Hubby just informed me that we down to the last dregs on our last tank...

I could have sworn it was flooding 4 months ago??

I'm feeling very suspicious of any water that comes from 'scraping the bottom of the barrell' ... I feel like if I were a germ that is exactly where I would live so I have decided to only drink vodka from now on ... germs can't live in vodka!

I'm too scared to scrapbook any more .... what if I get ink on everything and have to wash my hands? What if I gesso something, I'll have to wash everything up .... 

ALL THAT WATER !!😟

I have decided that only card making is safe to do until the next big rain gets here.

So here is my first card...

Fortunately it doesnt take much to fill a card up with gorgeous Imaginarium chipboard phrases, but I also couldn't resist adding a couple of these fabulous little branches as well 💜

Tuesday the 5th September 2017

Dear Diary...

Still no water 😟

We rang up the water delivery person to order a load. $350!!!!??!!!! ... for HALF a tank!!!

I'm pretty sure Coke is cheaper than this at wollies.

The worst part is that it's a 3 week wait...

Opps.

Probs should have ordered that two and half weeks ago!!

So now our whole house hold has gone into EXTREME water saving mode: 

*There's a bucket in the sink to catch wrince water.

*A bucket in the shower, to catch those bits you always loose down the drain at the beginning of a shower ... you know when you first turn the taps on but it takes like 90 seconds of it running full pelt to actually get any hot water.

* A 3 minuet egg timer in the bathroom to ensure very quick showers.

*The washing machine is hooked up to a huge recycling barrel 

just outside the laundry door  

...and my LEAST favourite of all water saving measures...

* A sign on the toilet door that reads

'if it's yellow let it melo, if its brown flush it down'

IS THIS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO??

For the record, I strongly disagree with this last measure.... all colours should be flushed ALL THE TIME. Sadly I was over ruled. Stuff global warming and holes in the ozone ... this is the true tragedy of global warming 😭

I would console myself with vodka but sadly that has also run out. Damn you elnino.

Card making it is then...

Today I tried to created a gilded frame look, which I just adore, and incidentally requires no washing up after at all 👍

I took this groovy chipboard frame, added glue and then pressed some flakes of rose gold all over it very roughly so that it would maintain that beaten metal look.

Super happy with the outcome.

Wednesday the 6th September 2017

Dear Diary...

This shortage of water thing is getting out of hand ... I caught one of the kids standing IN a bucket in her swimmers washing herself with a dribble coming from the shower head!! 

I explained that it wasn't quite that bad yet ( post apocalyptic that is)  but she was sooooo very proud of how little water she had used and how she had recycled 100% of the water she did use... I took a photo of her so she could use it on an inevitable 'recycling' school project one day.

She excitedly exclaimed that I could do the same thing...
A very awkward conversation followed where I had to explain the flaws in any plan where I am required to stand in a bucket!!

I was off to my happy place after that brief yet troubling interlude to indulge in
more card making. This time I made a very simple but colourful card using one of the sentiments that Imaginarium do so well.

These boards with repeated sayings are AWESOME ... I keep a dozen different ones on hand always in case I need to whip up a card for some reason

Add a simple flourish and card making is just too easy!

Thursday the 7th September 2017

Dear Diary...

today we have entered a whole new level of water saving skills....

WE ARE LIKE WATER SAVING NINJAS NOW!

We convinced our teenagers to shower at school ... 'tell them you have been doing sport and just need to freshen up' ... hopefully the school won't notice the ALARMING amount of hair care products my 17 year old daughter took to school with her this morning!

My husband also said he will use the showers at work ... despite them not having doors!!???! WHAT THE? 

I have committed to visiting friends in town once a day ... mostly in order to avoid my own toilets, but also to use all their water by drinking large amounts of coffee.

This is todays card effort... 

Still maximising the use of my sentiments boards.

no gesso on the title though ( as per my no washing anything ever again commitment) This title was simply coloured in with my white gel pen 😎

Friday the 8th September 2017

Dear Diary...

I GIVE IN.

This simply has to come to an end ... the kids came home and informed me that it was 'just creepy' showering at school and refuse to ever do it again, My husband  said he just couldn't go through with the 'no door' thing. And I dont know who is going to clean the toilets in my house  after this last week ... 

BUT ITS NOT GOING TO ME!!!!

We are half way down the outlet valve on our last tank and I just can't live like this anymore... I spent the morning calling every single water delivery company within 100km and managed to get someone who would deliver a half load tomorrow.

THANK GOODNESS! 

The madness can't end quickly enough for my liking. Feeling very pleased with myself I ducked off and created this birthday card.

I frivolously used watercolour paint on the balloon and black marker and crystalina kindy glitz on the writing chippies.

While making these cards I was listening to the radio ... the news report said that the current drought in our area could last until Christmas! I asked my husband how long the load of water we are getting will last us ... he said that at our current rate of consumption ... 3 weeks.

I'm moving to England.